4. RACHELLE ROWLINGS 

I picked a fight with the fridge. It took me 3 attempts to open it & when I finally did, I did with such force that it bypassed my arm & hit me straight in the face 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ve reached sleep deprivation level extreme, where i’ve made a hobby of getting angry with inanimate objects 🥣 I stabbed the kettle with a butter knife after it scolded me & put the fry pan in the naughty corner when it broke the yolk on both my sunny side’s up ☀️ I can’t be blamed though. The fact that I have no control over my offspring means my pent up anger levels at tupperware containers, soap dispensers & remotes are at critical levels & the need to slam them, throw them, snap them is relatively unavoidable 🤷🏼‍♀️ And seeing as I mention pent up anger, let me delve deeper into this sordid abyss. We’re human. As much as Mum’s are expected not to be. We are. We’re expected to remain patient with tonka’s to the toe, parmigiana to the eyeball & pudgy size 7’s to the ribs 🖕🏼 We can’t bat an eye at a tantrum over toast sliced the wrong angle or if they’re not enjoying the shade of blue their shirt is. Or when your toddler karate chops your 4 month in the temple so you banish him to his cot to let him cry it out. Upon your return he has projectile vomited cheese topped beans all over himself, the carpet & his freshly changed sheets saving the largest proportion of predigested food for your new Balenciaga tee. (While your baby decides her stomach contents are the perfect dooner accessory!) What do you do?! A 1950’s parenting book would guide us in the direction of a slight giggle & a ‘such is life’ shrug. Beat it 👊🏼 We don’t get a moment off. Even if they’re down you’re staring at that monitor with such trepidation that you start to twitch. Waiting for that assholey light to flicker. And yes we want to be reminded daily of how amazing we are! Because we’re scared everyone forgets. Etch it into some stone. Write it in the sky. Hand us our OBE’s. We live for praise & sympathy like addicts because it’s a lonely, scary bloody job. One we would never change. But we still reserve the right to bitch, moan, remind you daily of our sacrifice & well, wine 🍷 Bring home wine! Top: @saroka___official

Une publication partagée par JR ✖️ RR ✖️ RR ✖️ RR (@rachelle.rowlings) le

À première vue, Rachelle Rowlings vous fera grincer des dents, surtout si vous êtes une jeune maman. Sourire Colgate en permanence, tenues stylées et bébés immaculés à bout de bras… Elle a tout de la Happy Mama crispante qui donne l’impression aux femmes que la maternité est un jeu d’enfant. Et que si tu n’es pas canon deux semaines après ton accouchement, c’est que tu le veux vraiment. Attendez de lire ses légendes. Tout y passe : l’inconfort de la grossesse, le baby-blues, le manque de sommeil, la douleur de l’allaitement… Elle l’avoue sans tabou : avoir un nouveau-né n’est pas « le moment le plus heureux de sa vie ». À lire quand les influenceurs des réseaux nous semblent un peu trop beaux.